AFFIRMATION

We began probing into the basic God given desires of every individual.  With each unfulfilled desire comes a vacuum that needs to be filled.  The first was to be heard and understood.  This time is a desire to be affirmed.  


We all long to have parents, friends, teachers, mentors, or bosses in our lives who also notice what we do well. Without these affirmations, we do not learn to feel confident in our talents and abilities.  When there are not only no affirmations but only criticisms, the issue of confidence becomes a crisis for many.

All of us want to know what other people think of us. So our need for affirmation is so great that sometimes we refuse to try new things, because we are afraid we will look foolish and be judged and criticized.   And when we do make mistakes, it can be difficult to talk to people for fear we will be judged.

In the book that I have referred,  (7 Desires) the author states, "Without the safety of knowing that we will be accepted and affirmed despite our mistakes, it can be difficult to ever confess our mistakes to a friend, or to God."

Without affirmation we may become desperate to try anything to get them.  We may work so hard at pleasing others that we wear ourselves out emotionally, creating so much anxiety that is hard to tell people the truth.  The second danger of people desperate for affirmation is to be steeped in perfectionism.  Hoping some day that we will achieve enough to get those kudos we so much desire.

As leaders and pastors, we need to make sure those who we have influence receive the kind of affirmation they deserve.