DISCRIMINATION

In James 2 the church was being admonished for playing favorites.  It must have been frustrating for James to see the church adopt their old cultural values rather than the ones that represented no partiality. The early church had broken down racial, ethnic, social economic, and language barriers and therefore disturbing to James.  So the question that we have to respond to is this:  How do we respond to those in our society that represent lifestyles and beliefs that are contrary to our own?

The simple answer is the one that James gave.  "Love your neighbor as yourself".  How do we do that effectively?  I think there should be 4 basic rules of the road to impartiality.

1.  Biblical integrity.  Where God has made it clear in scripture that certain lifestyles and behaviors are sin there should be no compromise.

2. A Fallen world.  For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.  As long as we live on this earth we will be confronted with sinful behavior.  Let's remember that, "for God so loved the world that he gave his son".

3. Diversity.  We need to recognize that everybody is different.  God has uniquely created every individual.  And with that comes various scenarios, backgrounds, emotional hangups, and baggage that we don't fully understand.  Remember God looks at the heart and we look at the outer appearance.

4.  Redemption.  We were put on this planet to cultivate redemptive relationships.  If believers would be more concerned about the transformation of people's hearts by becoming salt and light in a dark world maybe we could gain ground on the sick culture we live in.

                                     DEALING WITH DISAPPOINTMENT

We all have been disappointed by someone.  But what is our responsibility in terms of our reaction?
Somebody has said that the distance between expectations and reality is disappointment.  So the first question we need to answer is this:  Were our expectations realistic?  It is critically important to make sure the expectations are filtered through various criteria. What is their age, level of maturity, background, or hard wiring, etc. ?

Secondly we need to make sure those expectations are verbalized.  Oftentimes our expectations are unspoken.  When they may be obvious to us, they may be oblivious to others.

Once you have determined that they are realistic and have been verbalized, how then should we respond when the disappointments come?

I would suggest that we respond with truth and love.  Scripture tells us to speak truth to our neighbor. We are told to speak the truth in love.  At some point we need to tell the person that we are disappointed and how we feel.  If we don't, we may build up a root of bitterness and distrust.

When it comes to the love factor.  Scripture tells us that love bears all things, hopes all things, believes all things.  Our love for the person must remain hopeful.  This means we need to forgive and keep trusting that God will impress upon the person to make some needed changes.

Finally we may need to let go of our expectations, recognizing that the person may never respond.
This can lead to setting some boundaries between ourselves and the person who disappointed us.

ROADBLOCKS TO EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE

Emotional intelligence can be described as the ability to proactively manage your emotions and to appropriately respond to the emotions of others.  Peter Scazzero,writes in his book,  Emotionally Healthy Spirituality that emotional and spiritual maturity go hand in hand.   In order to be emotionally healthy we must be in touch with our own emotions.  For those of us in leadership there are often five roadblocks that challenge our emotional maturity.  I would agree with those who have written in the book "Resilient Ministry". They are as follows:

1.  The intense desire to people please.  People pleasing is the willingness to deny one's own feelings, priorities,values or convictions in order to try to make others happy.

2.  The problem of emotional-faking.  This is when we deny our emotions to protect our persona so we have a tendency to fake it do we look more spiritual.

3.  The problem of a lack of reflection.  We bury our emotions in our busyness, instead of slowing down to reflect as to our true feelings.

4.  The problem of conflict avoidance.  None of us like conflict but we must recognize that burying our head in the sand doesn't make it go away.

5. The challenges of listening and expressing empathy.  Emotionally mature people take the time to listen and empathize so less misunderstanding takes place.

Do any of these roadblocks resonate in your life?  This is no time for a detour!

OUT OF SHAPE CHURCH

"Body life"is a term that was used back in the 70's referring to the spiritual make up of the church.  We are all parts of one body called the church.  We then have been challenged over the years to to make sure we are contributing to the body to increase its health.  That means discovering our spiritual giftedness and using it to build the Body up.

But if we were to think more holistically about our contribution, what would that look like?  I would submit to you that it means we are to contribute to the Body by being emotionally, spiritually, and physically healthy. My concern is that we have concentrated on the emotional and spiritual part while sometimes conveniently avoiding our physical health.

Scripture talks about being in a race.  Nothing can disqualify us more in a race than to be physically out of shape.  The longer we maintain good physical health the longer the opportunity to contribute to the Body of Christ.

I am convinced that one of the sins that has not been dealt with in the church is this one.  Our bodies are the temple of the Holy Spirit.  Let's be honest some of our temples need a major renovation.  We need to take more seriously our physical well being so we can finish the race that God has set before us.

Don't Let Dysfunction Dictate the Future

In my recent reading of A Resilient Life by Gordon MacDonald he states that one of the qualities of a resilient life is: Running free of the weight of the past.

Joseph was a young man who grew up in a very dysfunctional environment.  Unfortunately his father Jacob had created a permissive, passive, and preferential environment which spawned jealousy, deceit, treachery, rape,  incest, and murder, among his sons.

Joseph could have spent his life feeling sorry for himself, playing the role of the victim.  He could have rebelled against his upbringing, fostering bitterness, anger, and resentment towards his brothers.
But nowhere in Genesis do we see his past dictate his attitude toward the future.  So what were the qualities that Joseph modeled to become so resilient:

1.  He chose to make the best of the present circumstances rather dwell on the past.
2.  No matter how severe the circumstances he demonstrated integrity.
3.  He didn't allow a root of bitterness to dictate his attitude.
4.  He never lost sight of the sovereignty of God.
5.  He was careful to rebuild trust in the relationships that were broken.
6.  He set boundaries in his life that were potential dysfunctional relationships.

Joseph was a man who ran free of the weight of the past.  Are you?