The discussion was broken down into 3 categories: Do pastor's kid live under the undue expectations of their parents, the people of the local church, or are they self inflicted?
The results of that discussion were pretty profound.
1. We should ask our kids if they feel any pressure living in the home of the pastor. This question should be visited occasionally to give the family an opportunity to air out potential frustration.
2. As pastor parents we need to make sure the family is not getting our leftovers. If the church becomes a blockage to family intimacy the family will resent the church.
3. It is critical that we have freedom to be ourselves as parents so the kids see that the church is not dictating our behavior but God is.
4. Holy living is not an option for anybody who claims to be a Christian. In a sense we all live in glass houses.
5. We should be careful not to over legislate our teenagers lives who are beginning to pull away and establishing their own identity as believers.
6. Any discipline we may apply should be designed to bear the fruit of righteousness in their lives not protect our reputation.
7. Take advantage of having a flexible schedule so that you can be involved in your kid's events.
8. Be a student of your kids. Each temperament is unique and may respond differently to your expectations, the church folks, or their own.
Hopefully these responses will be helpful on your journey with family ties.
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