In James 2 the church was being admonished for playing favorites. It must have been frustrating for James to see the church adopt their old cultural values rather than the ones that represented no partiality. The early church had broken down racial, ethnic, social economic, and language barriers and therefore disturbing to James. So the question that we have to respond to is this: How do we respond to those in our society that represent lifestyles and beliefs that are contrary to our own?
The simple answer is the one that James gave. "Love your neighbor as yourself". How do we do that effectively? I think there should be 4 basic rules of the road to impartiality.
1. Biblical integrity. Where God has made it clear in scripture that certain lifestyles and behaviors are sin there should be no compromise.
2. A Fallen world. For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God. As long as we live on this earth we will be confronted with sinful behavior. Let's remember that, "for God so loved the world that he gave his son".
3. Diversity. We need to recognize that everybody is different. God has uniquely created every individual. And with that comes various scenarios, backgrounds, emotional hangups, and baggage that we don't fully understand. Remember God looks at the heart and we look at the outer appearance.
4. Redemption. We were put on this planet to cultivate redemptive relationships. If believers would be more concerned about the transformation of people's hearts by becoming salt and light in a dark world maybe we could gain ground on the sick culture we live in.
Wednesday, August 5, 2015
Saturday, June 6, 2015
DEALING WITH DISAPPOINTMENT
We all have been disappointed by someone. But what is our responsibility in terms of our reaction?
Somebody has said that the distance between expectations and reality is disappointment. So the first question we need to answer is this: Were our expectations realistic? It is critically important to make sure the expectations are filtered through various criteria. What is their age, level of maturity, background, or hard wiring, etc. ?
Secondly we need to make sure those expectations are verbalized. Oftentimes our expectations are unspoken. When they may be obvious to us, they may be oblivious to others.
Once you have determined that they are realistic and have been verbalized, how then should we respond when the disappointments come?
I would suggest that we respond with truth and love. Scripture tells us to speak truth to our neighbor. We are told to speak the truth in love. At some point we need to tell the person that we are disappointed and how we feel. If we don't, we may build up a root of bitterness and distrust.
When it comes to the love factor. Scripture tells us that love bears all things, hopes all things, believes all things. Our love for the person must remain hopeful. This means we need to forgive and keep trusting that God will impress upon the person to make some needed changes.
Finally we may need to let go of our expectations, recognizing that the person may never respond.
This can lead to setting some boundaries between ourselves and the person who disappointed us.
We all have been disappointed by someone. But what is our responsibility in terms of our reaction?
Somebody has said that the distance between expectations and reality is disappointment. So the first question we need to answer is this: Were our expectations realistic? It is critically important to make sure the expectations are filtered through various criteria. What is their age, level of maturity, background, or hard wiring, etc. ?
Secondly we need to make sure those expectations are verbalized. Oftentimes our expectations are unspoken. When they may be obvious to us, they may be oblivious to others.
Once you have determined that they are realistic and have been verbalized, how then should we respond when the disappointments come?
I would suggest that we respond with truth and love. Scripture tells us to speak truth to our neighbor. We are told to speak the truth in love. At some point we need to tell the person that we are disappointed and how we feel. If we don't, we may build up a root of bitterness and distrust.
When it comes to the love factor. Scripture tells us that love bears all things, hopes all things, believes all things. Our love for the person must remain hopeful. This means we need to forgive and keep trusting that God will impress upon the person to make some needed changes.
Finally we may need to let go of our expectations, recognizing that the person may never respond.
This can lead to setting some boundaries between ourselves and the person who disappointed us.
Friday, April 10, 2015
ROADBLOCKS TO EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE
Emotional intelligence can be described as the ability to proactively manage your emotions and to appropriately respond to the emotions of others. Peter Scazzero,writes in his book, Emotionally Healthy Spirituality that emotional and spiritual maturity go hand in hand. In order to be emotionally healthy we must be in touch with our own emotions. For those of us in leadership there are often five roadblocks that challenge our emotional maturity. I would agree with those who have written in the book "Resilient Ministry". They are as follows:
1. The intense desire to people please. People pleasing is the willingness to deny one's own feelings, priorities,values or convictions in order to try to make others happy.
2. The problem of emotional-faking. This is when we deny our emotions to protect our persona so we have a tendency to fake it do we look more spiritual.
3. The problem of a lack of reflection. We bury our emotions in our busyness, instead of slowing down to reflect as to our true feelings.
4. The problem of conflict avoidance. None of us like conflict but we must recognize that burying our head in the sand doesn't make it go away.
5. The challenges of listening and expressing empathy. Emotionally mature people take the time to listen and empathize so less misunderstanding takes place.
Do any of these roadblocks resonate in your life? This is no time for a detour!
1. The intense desire to people please. People pleasing is the willingness to deny one's own feelings, priorities,values or convictions in order to try to make others happy.
2. The problem of emotional-faking. This is when we deny our emotions to protect our persona so we have a tendency to fake it do we look more spiritual.
3. The problem of a lack of reflection. We bury our emotions in our busyness, instead of slowing down to reflect as to our true feelings.
4. The problem of conflict avoidance. None of us like conflict but we must recognize that burying our head in the sand doesn't make it go away.
5. The challenges of listening and expressing empathy. Emotionally mature people take the time to listen and empathize so less misunderstanding takes place.
Do any of these roadblocks resonate in your life? This is no time for a detour!
Thursday, March 12, 2015
OUT OF SHAPE CHURCH
"Body life"is a term that was used back in the 70's referring to the spiritual make up of the church. We are all parts of one body called the church. We then have been challenged over the years to to make sure we are contributing to the body to increase its health. That means discovering our spiritual giftedness and using it to build the Body up.
But if we were to think more holistically about our contribution, what would that look like? I would submit to you that it means we are to contribute to the Body by being emotionally, spiritually, and physically healthy. My concern is that we have concentrated on the emotional and spiritual part while sometimes conveniently avoiding our physical health.
Scripture talks about being in a race. Nothing can disqualify us more in a race than to be physically out of shape. The longer we maintain good physical health the longer the opportunity to contribute to the Body of Christ.
I am convinced that one of the sins that has not been dealt with in the church is this one. Our bodies are the temple of the Holy Spirit. Let's be honest some of our temples need a major renovation. We need to take more seriously our physical well being so we can finish the race that God has set before us.
But if we were to think more holistically about our contribution, what would that look like? I would submit to you that it means we are to contribute to the Body by being emotionally, spiritually, and physically healthy. My concern is that we have concentrated on the emotional and spiritual part while sometimes conveniently avoiding our physical health.
Scripture talks about being in a race. Nothing can disqualify us more in a race than to be physically out of shape. The longer we maintain good physical health the longer the opportunity to contribute to the Body of Christ.
I am convinced that one of the sins that has not been dealt with in the church is this one. Our bodies are the temple of the Holy Spirit. Let's be honest some of our temples need a major renovation. We need to take more seriously our physical well being so we can finish the race that God has set before us.
Thursday, January 29, 2015
Don't Let Dysfunction Dictate the Future
In my recent reading of A Resilient Life by Gordon MacDonald he states that one of the qualities of a resilient life is: Running free of the weight of the past.
Joseph was a young man who grew up in a very dysfunctional environment. Unfortunately his father Jacob had created a permissive, passive, and preferential environment which spawned jealousy, deceit, treachery, rape, incest, and murder, among his sons.
Joseph could have spent his life feeling sorry for himself, playing the role of the victim. He could have rebelled against his upbringing, fostering bitterness, anger, and resentment towards his brothers.
But nowhere in Genesis do we see his past dictate his attitude toward the future. So what were the qualities that Joseph modeled to become so resilient:
1. He chose to make the best of the present circumstances rather dwell on the past.
2. No matter how severe the circumstances he demonstrated integrity.
3. He didn't allow a root of bitterness to dictate his attitude.
4. He never lost sight of the sovereignty of God.
5. He was careful to rebuild trust in the relationships that were broken.
6. He set boundaries in his life that were potential dysfunctional relationships.
Joseph was a man who ran free of the weight of the past. Are you?
Joseph was a young man who grew up in a very dysfunctional environment. Unfortunately his father Jacob had created a permissive, passive, and preferential environment which spawned jealousy, deceit, treachery, rape, incest, and murder, among his sons.
Joseph could have spent his life feeling sorry for himself, playing the role of the victim. He could have rebelled against his upbringing, fostering bitterness, anger, and resentment towards his brothers.
But nowhere in Genesis do we see his past dictate his attitude toward the future. So what were the qualities that Joseph modeled to become so resilient:
1. He chose to make the best of the present circumstances rather dwell on the past.
2. No matter how severe the circumstances he demonstrated integrity.
3. He didn't allow a root of bitterness to dictate his attitude.
4. He never lost sight of the sovereignty of God.
5. He was careful to rebuild trust in the relationships that were broken.
6. He set boundaries in his life that were potential dysfunctional relationships.
Joseph was a man who ran free of the weight of the past. Are you?
Thursday, December 18, 2014
A KING SIZED BED
I read recently that Rick Warren referred to the manger as a king sized bed. I love that analogy.
Let me run with it.
What size bed do you sleep in?
Our American culture does not relate well to the concept of a king. We have a tendency to take modern day royalty with the grain of salt. It seems that most kings today are merely figure heads that don't have any real power. Royalty seems to be just more fodder for the media to exploit. After all, how many of us would feel weird bowing down in front of Queen Elizabeth. (I guess we could refer to her as having slept in a queen sized bed. )
Worse than that how many of us feel weird bowing down to the King of Kings and Lord of Lords.
The wise men got it. The shepherds got it. But I wonder if we get it.
Too many of us Christians want to sleep in a crib or single bed rather than a king sized bed, because we do not relate to Jesus being our King. He just becomes a figure head in our lives or a person we can exploit.
So how about taking time this Christmas to literally bow down to our King. Someday all of us will.
So why not start now?
SLEEP WELL.
Let me run with it.
What size bed do you sleep in?
Our American culture does not relate well to the concept of a king. We have a tendency to take modern day royalty with the grain of salt. It seems that most kings today are merely figure heads that don't have any real power. Royalty seems to be just more fodder for the media to exploit. After all, how many of us would feel weird bowing down in front of Queen Elizabeth. (I guess we could refer to her as having slept in a queen sized bed. )
Worse than that how many of us feel weird bowing down to the King of Kings and Lord of Lords.
The wise men got it. The shepherds got it. But I wonder if we get it.
Too many of us Christians want to sleep in a crib or single bed rather than a king sized bed, because we do not relate to Jesus being our King. He just becomes a figure head in our lives or a person we can exploit.
So how about taking time this Christmas to literally bow down to our King. Someday all of us will.
So why not start now?
SLEEP WELL.
Thursday, October 30, 2014
SIMPLICITY PART 2
After discovering what our inward realities (ie. Motivations) now we can move on to our outward lifestyle of simplicity. These outward expressions that follow are a mixture of Richard Foster's book and some of my own thoughts.
1. Buy things for their usefulness rather than their status.
2. Reject anything that is producing an addiction in you.
3. Develop a habit of giving things away.
4. Learn to enjoy things without having to own them.
5. Develop a deeper appreciation for creation.
6. Refuse to get trapped into buy now and pay later.
7. Set reasonable boundaries.
8. Identify and honor your God given priorities.
9. Learn to delegate.
Let me close with these questions: What are the inward realities that are keeping you from a simpler life? Is it performance, possessions, or popularity?
What steps do you wan to take to change your outward lifestyle?
1. Buy things for their usefulness rather than their status.
2. Reject anything that is producing an addiction in you.
3. Develop a habit of giving things away.
4. Learn to enjoy things without having to own them.
5. Develop a deeper appreciation for creation.
6. Refuse to get trapped into buy now and pay later.
7. Set reasonable boundaries.
8. Identify and honor your God given priorities.
9. Learn to delegate.
Let me close with these questions: What are the inward realities that are keeping you from a simpler life? Is it performance, possessions, or popularity?
What steps do you wan to take to change your outward lifestyle?
Sunday, October 5, 2014
SIMPLICITY part 1
Richard Foster defines simplicity this way: The Christian discipline of simplicity is an inward reality that results in and outward life style.
Inward realities can be defined as the motivating factors that cause our lives to be more complex.
Those inward realities can be captured in the 3 temptations of Jesus found in Luke 4.
The 3 realities are as follows: 1. I am what I do. (performance) 2. I am what I have. (possessions) 3. I am what others think of me. (popularity) These unhealthy motivations usually come attached to our emotional baggage and how we are wired. Therefore we must have a keen sense of self-awareness.
How do we do that?
1. Ask God. When we do, we need to be a better listener.
2. Be approachable and teachable to trusted people who will tell you the truth in love.
3. Be more transparent. We must be willing to take the mask off.
4. Consider taking "Strength Finders" or "Style of Influence" or "Meyers Briggs" tests.
5. Pray for courage.
So what temptation has a tendency to motivate you into complexity? Next time we will look at two more inward realities that lead to simplicity.
Inward realities can be defined as the motivating factors that cause our lives to be more complex.
Those inward realities can be captured in the 3 temptations of Jesus found in Luke 4.
The 3 realities are as follows: 1. I am what I do. (performance) 2. I am what I have. (possessions) 3. I am what others think of me. (popularity) These unhealthy motivations usually come attached to our emotional baggage and how we are wired. Therefore we must have a keen sense of self-awareness.
How do we do that?
1. Ask God. When we do, we need to be a better listener.
2. Be approachable and teachable to trusted people who will tell you the truth in love.
3. Be more transparent. We must be willing to take the mask off.
4. Consider taking "Strength Finders" or "Style of Influence" or "Meyers Briggs" tests.
5. Pray for courage.
So what temptation has a tendency to motivate you into complexity? Next time we will look at two more inward realities that lead to simplicity.
Monday, August 18, 2014
Hybird Christianity
There is a brand of Christianity that seems to prevail in our churches these days. I would call it "Hybrid Christianity". While "hybrid" has a good connotation in our culture it reeks of compromise when it comes to Christianity. Hybrid Christianity is a blend of cultural Christianity and real Christianity. Cultural Christianity is in name only. There is no reason to share or live out the gospel because there needs to be tolerance and acceptance of other's views. CC believes the Bible to a point, but believes it to be a book of guidance and to be filtered through personal bias and existential reality. In essence CC is anti Lordship of Christ. When the Lordship of Christ is diminished there is a cult-like attachment to it.
A Hybrid Christian would adhere to the infallibility of the scripture and the Gospel yet allow CC to infiltrate their thinking, thus creating a new kind of hypocrisy. This new kind of hypocrisy demonstrates what "cheap grace" is all about. There is no real repentance or sense of urgency to see people come to know Jesus. It is all about compromise and rationalizations and self, dictating the rules for living. No wonder people have stopped going to church.
Maybe it is time to be salt and light again?
A Hybrid Christian would adhere to the infallibility of the scripture and the Gospel yet allow CC to infiltrate their thinking, thus creating a new kind of hypocrisy. This new kind of hypocrisy demonstrates what "cheap grace" is all about. There is no real repentance or sense of urgency to see people come to know Jesus. It is all about compromise and rationalizations and self, dictating the rules for living. No wonder people have stopped going to church.
Maybe it is time to be salt and light again?
Saturday, June 28, 2014
WHY PRAY?
I confess that I have struggled with my prayer life over the years, but if we can get away from the stereo type definitions of prayer, perhaps it will refresh your thinking. Here is what I mean.
Prayer is cultivating a relationship with God. Every relationship is uniquely different because we are all wired uniquely. Relationships of intimacy require openness and trust, taking time and energy. This also means your prayer life doesn't have to look like anybody else's.
Prayer is communicating with God. Communication can be verbal and non-verbal. Prayer can just be listening. Mother Teresa said, "Prayer is not asking. It is a longing of the soul. Prayer is putting oneself in the hands of God at his disposition, and listening to his voice with the depths of our hearts."
Prayer is a connection of the heart. The pharisees were famous for long heartless prayers. When James says it is the fervent prayers of a righteous man that avails much, he is referring to a heart connection.
Ghandi said, "Prayer is not asking. It is a longing of the soul. It is a daily admission of ones weakness. It is better in prayer to have a heart without words then words without heart."
Prayer is a constant awareness of God's presence. Paul tells us to pray continually. How does that happen? It happens by integrating my thoughts, words, and deeds with the influence of God.
If we take these definitions to heart we discover that prayer is more than a discipline, more than a compartmentalized practice, but a total awareness and dependence upon God. Almost like breathing out and breathing in.
Prayer is cultivating a relationship with God. Every relationship is uniquely different because we are all wired uniquely. Relationships of intimacy require openness and trust, taking time and energy. This also means your prayer life doesn't have to look like anybody else's.
Prayer is communicating with God. Communication can be verbal and non-verbal. Prayer can just be listening. Mother Teresa said, "Prayer is not asking. It is a longing of the soul. Prayer is putting oneself in the hands of God at his disposition, and listening to his voice with the depths of our hearts."
Prayer is a connection of the heart. The pharisees were famous for long heartless prayers. When James says it is the fervent prayers of a righteous man that avails much, he is referring to a heart connection.
Ghandi said, "Prayer is not asking. It is a longing of the soul. It is a daily admission of ones weakness. It is better in prayer to have a heart without words then words without heart."
Prayer is a constant awareness of God's presence. Paul tells us to pray continually. How does that happen? It happens by integrating my thoughts, words, and deeds with the influence of God.
If we take these definitions to heart we discover that prayer is more than a discipline, more than a compartmentalized practice, but a total awareness and dependence upon God. Almost like breathing out and breathing in.
Monday, May 19, 2014
GREAT EXPECTATIONS
Recently one of our pastors in a large church on the east coast committed suicide. How could a tragedy like this happen?
Someone once said that the distance between expectations and reality is defined by stress.
Ministry leaders live under the heavy weight of multiple expectations by those they lead as well as self-inflicted expectations. This is a very dangerous combination. Let's just call it a double whammy.
When expectations are not being met there are two ways to handle them. The first is try to meet them all and thus become a disappointment to many and even to oneself. This can cause overwhelming guilt to mount up. Once that happens the leader can try to fake it until they make it, trying to hide their inadequacies and faults and pretend that they have it together. This is a very dangerous place to be, because sooner or later reality will catch up. When that happens, it can be devastating to the one hiding and to those who have been fooled. This way of handling expectations can even lead to a vulnerable person to suicide. Rather than be found out as a fraud, it is easier to escape by taking one's own life.
The second way to handle these expectations is a much healthier way to deal with them. It starts with by having an authentic and transparent relationship with someone you can trust to love you and tell you the truth. Unfortunately too many leaders live in isolation from that kind of accountability. Along with this, a leader must find ways to de-stress. This means taking days off, setting boundaries, understanding their limits, and proper exercise and rest.
If you are suffering from great expectations, I encourage you to begin getting in touch with reality sooner than later.
Someone once said that the distance between expectations and reality is defined by stress.
Ministry leaders live under the heavy weight of multiple expectations by those they lead as well as self-inflicted expectations. This is a very dangerous combination. Let's just call it a double whammy.
When expectations are not being met there are two ways to handle them. The first is try to meet them all and thus become a disappointment to many and even to oneself. This can cause overwhelming guilt to mount up. Once that happens the leader can try to fake it until they make it, trying to hide their inadequacies and faults and pretend that they have it together. This is a very dangerous place to be, because sooner or later reality will catch up. When that happens, it can be devastating to the one hiding and to those who have been fooled. This way of handling expectations can even lead to a vulnerable person to suicide. Rather than be found out as a fraud, it is easier to escape by taking one's own life.
The second way to handle these expectations is a much healthier way to deal with them. It starts with by having an authentic and transparent relationship with someone you can trust to love you and tell you the truth. Unfortunately too many leaders live in isolation from that kind of accountability. Along with this, a leader must find ways to de-stress. This means taking days off, setting boundaries, understanding their limits, and proper exercise and rest.
If you are suffering from great expectations, I encourage you to begin getting in touch with reality sooner than later.
Friday, March 7, 2014
STRESSED OUT !!!???
Someone defined stress as the distance between expectations and reality. The greater the distance the greater the stress. It is like having one foot on the dock and the other on a boat drifting away from the dock. Needless to say a stretching experience.
So what is the answer?
One option is to lower our expectations. Sometimes the demands we put on ourselves are too high.
Those who feel extremely responsible, or who are over achievers, create demands beyond their capacities.
Option two is to clearly and objectively define the reality. We can easily view reality through the filtered lens of our emotions. If we let our emotions define our reality we can easily be deceived and create needless expectations. Remember the apostle Paul reminded us to fix our mind on what is true.
Sometimes we need to exercise both options to alleviate the stress in our lives. Here's to dryer days ahead. If you know what I mean?
So what is the answer?
One option is to lower our expectations. Sometimes the demands we put on ourselves are too high.
Those who feel extremely responsible, or who are over achievers, create demands beyond their capacities.
Option two is to clearly and objectively define the reality. We can easily view reality through the filtered lens of our emotions. If we let our emotions define our reality we can easily be deceived and create needless expectations. Remember the apostle Paul reminded us to fix our mind on what is true.
Sometimes we need to exercise both options to alleviate the stress in our lives. Here's to dryer days ahead. If you know what I mean?
Sunday, January 26, 2014
"EMPOWERING OTHERS"
The word "empower" means to give authority to. Empowering others is often neglected for those of us who lead. Why is that?
1. We are too afraid we have not equipped a person enough to take the lead.
2. Many of us are control freaks and just can't let go.
3. We are afraid that a person might do the task better than us.
4. Some of us are afraid to empower because we don't want the person to fail.
5. Perhaps you have empowered others and they have abused their opportunity.
Empowering others certainly involves taking a risk. It can be a very vulnerable thing to do. But passing the baton of leadership, is essential for any organization or ministry to have smooth transitions and healthy legacies.
So let me respond to these five excuses:
1. We need to be more intentional about preparing those under our leadership with the skills to take over. This may mean letting go a little at a time. As people are faithful with a little they can be given much.
2. For those of us who are control freaks, we just need to get over it. The reality is that people are going to fail, and sometimes people are going to do it better. Think about this metaphor. How would you like to still be running behind your grown child holding onto the their two wheel bike to keep them from falling? You would be pretty exhausted. Let's not forget the joy in our child's face when they rode that two wheeler for the first time, without you holding on.
3. There can be great freedom in empowering others, because it shifts not only authority but responsibility.
4. What I have discovered is that empowering others increases our own empowerment. What do I mean by this? I have discovered that people so appreciate given the opportunity to lead, they respect the leader who gave them that opportunity even more.
1. We are too afraid we have not equipped a person enough to take the lead.
2. Many of us are control freaks and just can't let go.
3. We are afraid that a person might do the task better than us.
4. Some of us are afraid to empower because we don't want the person to fail.
5. Perhaps you have empowered others and they have abused their opportunity.
Empowering others certainly involves taking a risk. It can be a very vulnerable thing to do. But passing the baton of leadership, is essential for any organization or ministry to have smooth transitions and healthy legacies.
So let me respond to these five excuses:
1. We need to be more intentional about preparing those under our leadership with the skills to take over. This may mean letting go a little at a time. As people are faithful with a little they can be given much.
2. For those of us who are control freaks, we just need to get over it. The reality is that people are going to fail, and sometimes people are going to do it better. Think about this metaphor. How would you like to still be running behind your grown child holding onto the their two wheel bike to keep them from falling? You would be pretty exhausted. Let's not forget the joy in our child's face when they rode that two wheeler for the first time, without you holding on.
3. There can be great freedom in empowering others, because it shifts not only authority but responsibility.
4. What I have discovered is that empowering others increases our own empowerment. What do I mean by this? I have discovered that people so appreciate given the opportunity to lead, they respect the leader who gave them that opportunity even more.
Wednesday, January 8, 2014
IMPACT!
Do you want to have an impact on people's lives in 2014? Let me give you 5 principles that will help you touch people's lives in a powerful way.
1. God has ordained a plan for your life. Psalm 139:16 Are you willing to get on board with his plan or are you busy trying to make your own plans?
2. God wants to use people who have their heart in the right place. If your greatest desire in life is to please God rather than men you qualify. God pleasers can make the biggest difference for His kingdom. Remember man looks at the outer appearance but God looks at the heart.
3. God often uses those who are marginalized and obscure to do the greatest things for the kingdom. David was a shepherd boy who was taken from obscurity to the palace. God used a bunch of fishermen to turn the world upside down. I have a hunch He wants to use you too.
4. God uses those who are available with their talents to help those in need. Remember God used a harp to sooth the nerves of King Saul. He used a staff to part the Red Sea. He can certainly use what you bring to the table.
5. God grants success to those who meditate on his word, and are careful to obey it. (Joshua 1:8)
There is no better impact on another person's life than one who is consistently living out what he believes.
May 2014 be a year of IMPACT for Christ!
1. God has ordained a plan for your life. Psalm 139:16 Are you willing to get on board with his plan or are you busy trying to make your own plans?
2. God wants to use people who have their heart in the right place. If your greatest desire in life is to please God rather than men you qualify. God pleasers can make the biggest difference for His kingdom. Remember man looks at the outer appearance but God looks at the heart.
3. God often uses those who are marginalized and obscure to do the greatest things for the kingdom. David was a shepherd boy who was taken from obscurity to the palace. God used a bunch of fishermen to turn the world upside down. I have a hunch He wants to use you too.
4. God uses those who are available with their talents to help those in need. Remember God used a harp to sooth the nerves of King Saul. He used a staff to part the Red Sea. He can certainly use what you bring to the table.
5. God grants success to those who meditate on his word, and are careful to obey it. (Joshua 1:8)
There is no better impact on another person's life than one who is consistently living out what he believes.
May 2014 be a year of IMPACT for Christ!
Monday, November 25, 2013
Living a Thankful Life
This time of year we usually stop to give thanks. It is a healthy exercise of our hearts. But what would it look like to live a life of thankfulness? Paul describes it pretty clearly in Philippians 4:4-13
His first reminder to live thankfully is to "rejoice in the Lord always". Why can we rejoice in the Lord always. Because circumstances are always changing but the Lord never changes. He is near, completely understands, and His grace is totally sufficient.
Secondly, Paul tells us to pray about everything. If we pray about everything we would be in constant communication with Lord. Not a bad idea. If you are like me, most prayer is asking and hopefully getting answers. However prayer is really an opportunity to establish our dependence and give us the opportunity to unload our anxiety. The key however is to couch all of our prayers in thanksgiving. You never see anxiety and thanksgiving occupy the same space.
Thirdly, Paul says that we should intentionally think about the good stuff. He starts out with what is true and then moves on to other positive things. We are programmed to think negatively in our culture. It doesn't take long to believe that if we just watch the evening news. But if we start with what is true, we can see truth trumping our emotions. The truth will set us free.
Fourth, Paul tells us to learn contentment in all circumstances. Contentment is a journey for all of us but the best way to learn it is release things instead of controlling them. We also need to experience, in reality or vicariously, the matter of both prosperity and poverty. Until we experience both we will consistently want more.
Paul concludes this section by saying I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. That is the main reason we can rejoice in the Lord always. Happy "Thanks Living"!
His first reminder to live thankfully is to "rejoice in the Lord always". Why can we rejoice in the Lord always. Because circumstances are always changing but the Lord never changes. He is near, completely understands, and His grace is totally sufficient.
Secondly, Paul tells us to pray about everything. If we pray about everything we would be in constant communication with Lord. Not a bad idea. If you are like me, most prayer is asking and hopefully getting answers. However prayer is really an opportunity to establish our dependence and give us the opportunity to unload our anxiety. The key however is to couch all of our prayers in thanksgiving. You never see anxiety and thanksgiving occupy the same space.
Thirdly, Paul says that we should intentionally think about the good stuff. He starts out with what is true and then moves on to other positive things. We are programmed to think negatively in our culture. It doesn't take long to believe that if we just watch the evening news. But if we start with what is true, we can see truth trumping our emotions. The truth will set us free.
Fourth, Paul tells us to learn contentment in all circumstances. Contentment is a journey for all of us but the best way to learn it is release things instead of controlling them. We also need to experience, in reality or vicariously, the matter of both prosperity and poverty. Until we experience both we will consistently want more.
Paul concludes this section by saying I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. That is the main reason we can rejoice in the Lord always. Happy "Thanks Living"!
Wednesday, October 30, 2013
Overcoming Cynicism
Paul Miller writes a great piece in his book, "A Praying Life", about how to overcome cynicism.
Here are 6 principles in overcoming this prevalent problem in our Christian culture.
1. Jesus tells us to be wise as serpents and harmless as doves. What he is saying is that we should always keep the tension of wariness about evil with robust confidence in the goodness of God.
Therefore we can always live with a cautious optimism.
2. It is so easy to find ourselves caught up with the day to day frustrations and obstacles, that we forget that there is victory in the end. Therefore we always need to stay in touch with the hope within us.
3. We should cultivate a childlike spirit. If we allow the rust of our adult experience to always taint our view our faith can become tainted as well, leaving us vulnerable to cynicism.
4. We should cultivate more of a thankful spirit. When we focus on the many ways God has blessed us it crowds out the temptation to be cynical.
5. It is easy for a cynic to see themselves as a self appointed critic who is insightful and always right. Therefore the best way to overcome this is to keep a humble heart of repentance. Instead of explaining away your right to feel the way you do, it is better to find the moment of inward honesty and vulnerability.
6. Exercise true forgiveness. When I am cynical about something it is usually an issue of a wound that I have not truly forgiven. It is critical that we not brush hurts under the rug. Often our anger and hurt comes out with a cynical attitude.
Here are 6 principles in overcoming this prevalent problem in our Christian culture.
1. Jesus tells us to be wise as serpents and harmless as doves. What he is saying is that we should always keep the tension of wariness about evil with robust confidence in the goodness of God.
Therefore we can always live with a cautious optimism.
2. It is so easy to find ourselves caught up with the day to day frustrations and obstacles, that we forget that there is victory in the end. Therefore we always need to stay in touch with the hope within us.
3. We should cultivate a childlike spirit. If we allow the rust of our adult experience to always taint our view our faith can become tainted as well, leaving us vulnerable to cynicism.
4. We should cultivate more of a thankful spirit. When we focus on the many ways God has blessed us it crowds out the temptation to be cynical.
5. It is easy for a cynic to see themselves as a self appointed critic who is insightful and always right. Therefore the best way to overcome this is to keep a humble heart of repentance. Instead of explaining away your right to feel the way you do, it is better to find the moment of inward honesty and vulnerability.
6. Exercise true forgiveness. When I am cynical about something it is usually an issue of a wound that I have not truly forgiven. It is critical that we not brush hurts under the rug. Often our anger and hurt comes out with a cynical attitude.
Tuesday, October 1, 2013
Four Root Idols
Many different people have written about four root idols that all of us struggle. Here they are:
1. Power: A longing for influence or recognition
2. Control: A longing to have everything go according to my plan
3. Approval: A longing to be accepted or desired.
4. Comfort: A longing for pleasure.
John Calvin has said, "The evil in our desire typically does not lie in what we want, but that we want it too much."
Thomas Chalmers said, "The best way to overcome the world is not with morality or self discipline. Christians overcome the world by seeing the beauty and excellence of Christ.
Practically speaking we can overcome:
1. Power: By submitting to his power.
2. Control : By surrendering to the one who is ultimately in control
3. Approval: Recognizing that we have his approval. Which is most important.
4. Comfort: Remembering He is the God of all comfort.
Pastors and/or leaders can suffer from these idols from time to time. Which one is most likely to occur in your life?
1. Power: A longing for influence or recognition
2. Control: A longing to have everything go according to my plan
3. Approval: A longing to be accepted or desired.
4. Comfort: A longing for pleasure.
John Calvin has said, "The evil in our desire typically does not lie in what we want, but that we want it too much."
Thomas Chalmers said, "The best way to overcome the world is not with morality or self discipline. Christians overcome the world by seeing the beauty and excellence of Christ.
Practically speaking we can overcome:
1. Power: By submitting to his power.
2. Control : By surrendering to the one who is ultimately in control
3. Approval: Recognizing that we have his approval. Which is most important.
4. Comfort: Remembering He is the God of all comfort.
Pastors and/or leaders can suffer from these idols from time to time. Which one is most likely to occur in your life?
Friday, August 30, 2013
The 3 P's of Stinking Thinking
I have to take a break from my previous blog with this incite from Henry Cloud's book, "Boundaries for Leaders".
He talks about the 3 P's that can be devastating to a leader's thinking. A typical spiral can take place in a leader's mind if things are not transpiring the way they want. Or perhaps there is some sort of criticism that affects the way a leader thinks. Here they are:
Personal: Whenever there is something negative taking place a first temptation is to take it personally.
Things might be said like, "What ever made me think I could be a leader?" " The reason we are stuck is that I'm not up to this task." "What ever made me think that I could pull it off?"
Pervasive: The next step downward in the spiral is to believe that everybody must think this is true. Or that everything is failing. Things might be said, "It seems like everything I am working on is failing." "Nothing seems to be going right."
Permanent: The final step to this spiral is that it is always going to be this way. So we think that things will never change.
How many times have any of us gone through this spiral in various forms? It is critical for us to stop the spiral. That kind of inward thinking can kill the morale of those on your team.
If you are in that spiral, it is time to stop the merry-go-round and get some outside objective counsel before you fall into a depression or create a permanent culture of negativity.
He talks about the 3 P's that can be devastating to a leader's thinking. A typical spiral can take place in a leader's mind if things are not transpiring the way they want. Or perhaps there is some sort of criticism that affects the way a leader thinks. Here they are:
Personal: Whenever there is something negative taking place a first temptation is to take it personally.
Things might be said like, "What ever made me think I could be a leader?" " The reason we are stuck is that I'm not up to this task." "What ever made me think that I could pull it off?"
Pervasive: The next step downward in the spiral is to believe that everybody must think this is true. Or that everything is failing. Things might be said, "It seems like everything I am working on is failing." "Nothing seems to be going right."
Permanent: The final step to this spiral is that it is always going to be this way. So we think that things will never change.
How many times have any of us gone through this spiral in various forms? It is critical for us to stop the spiral. That kind of inward thinking can kill the morale of those on your team.
If you are in that spiral, it is time to stop the merry-go-round and get some outside objective counsel before you fall into a depression or create a permanent culture of negativity.
Tuesday, August 6, 2013
Moving from I to We part 2 A GOOD LISTENER
Now that I have introduced this new model of being a leader who is a steward of his/her own gifts and also a steward of those gifts already in the body, we need to describe how this model is practically lived out.
Dr. Ford points out that the first step is for the Steward leader to be a "good listener". This means the leader needs to listen for the passion and vision of those under his leadership. It means asking a lot more questions, being an excellent observer, and then discerning where their gifts may lie.
A Harvard University professor has said, "Most leaders die with their mouths open". Leaders are often valued more for what they say and thus fall into the trap of not being a good listener.
A leader who is good at listening communicates a teachability and sensitivity to the people in the church or on the team. When this happens, people feel validated and the freedom to express their passions and giftedness.
Once a leader understands where people's passion lay, the next step is to equip them for tasks they are passionate about. I will touch on this aspect in the next blog.
The question I want to leave you is this: Are you a good listener? Have you created an environment of understanding and discernment as the leader? Have you created a self serving agenda of leadership or a body building agenda of leadership?
Dr. Ford points out that the first step is for the Steward leader to be a "good listener". This means the leader needs to listen for the passion and vision of those under his leadership. It means asking a lot more questions, being an excellent observer, and then discerning where their gifts may lie.
A Harvard University professor has said, "Most leaders die with their mouths open". Leaders are often valued more for what they say and thus fall into the trap of not being a good listener.
A leader who is good at listening communicates a teachability and sensitivity to the people in the church or on the team. When this happens, people feel validated and the freedom to express their passions and giftedness.
Once a leader understands where people's passion lay, the next step is to equip them for tasks they are passionate about. I will touch on this aspect in the next blog.
The question I want to leave you is this: Are you a good listener? Have you created an environment of understanding and discernment as the leader? Have you created a self serving agenda of leadership or a body building agenda of leadership?
Monday, July 22, 2013
Moving from I to We
I have been reading a book called "Moving From I to We" by Dr. Paul Ford. It has impressed me with a new model of leadership.
For the last decade the emphasis in local churches has been a need for visionary leadership. This has precipitated a CEO driven model, where one guy is the hub of strategy. This puts an enormous amount of pressure on the pastor to be all things to all people. Many pastors are simply not wired to represent this model because many are pastor/shepherds not necessarily visionary leaders. Consequently the pastor becomes the lightning rod of criticism when things trend downward.
What if we introduce a different model of leadership that could bring new life to a local body of believers? Could a pastor lead his congregation to vibrant health and not be a visionary leader? I believe the answer is yes!
Let's think of a leadership model that requires "stewardship". This model would require the leader to develop a strategy around the people God has brought to the table, utilizing their gifts and passions.
Typically a CEO would cast vision and develop a strategy and then try to find the people to fit into the strategy. A steward on the other hand would assess the people and develop a strategy around the gifts and passions of the people. This model could release and empower the entire body of Christ into action.
For those of you who are not the type A strong visionary leader, this could be the answer to bringing new life to your team or flock.
In the weeks ahead I will unpack this model some more. Stay tuned......
For the last decade the emphasis in local churches has been a need for visionary leadership. This has precipitated a CEO driven model, where one guy is the hub of strategy. This puts an enormous amount of pressure on the pastor to be all things to all people. Many pastors are simply not wired to represent this model because many are pastor/shepherds not necessarily visionary leaders. Consequently the pastor becomes the lightning rod of criticism when things trend downward.
What if we introduce a different model of leadership that could bring new life to a local body of believers? Could a pastor lead his congregation to vibrant health and not be a visionary leader? I believe the answer is yes!
Let's think of a leadership model that requires "stewardship". This model would require the leader to develop a strategy around the people God has brought to the table, utilizing their gifts and passions.
Typically a CEO would cast vision and develop a strategy and then try to find the people to fit into the strategy. A steward on the other hand would assess the people and develop a strategy around the gifts and passions of the people. This model could release and empower the entire body of Christ into action.
For those of you who are not the type A strong visionary leader, this could be the answer to bringing new life to your team or flock.
In the weeks ahead I will unpack this model some more. Stay tuned......
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