WHAT ABOUT "SHE"?

One of the loneliest places in the church is being a pastor's wife.  Most pastor wives find themselves usually living in the shadows of their husbands.   Many pastor wives are struggling for their own identity and the role they should play in the local church.  The glass house is often haunted for many pastor wives.
These factors, among others, can cause a pastor's wife to feel isolated, scrutinized, and minimized.

So what role do healthy pastor's play in the life of their wife?  Here are some tips that might help alleviate some of the pressure they feel.

1.  Make sure that they feel more important than your ministry.
     - Plan a date night once a week.
    -  Limit your nights out to no more than 3 a week.
    -  Have a set aside time once a week to have a marriage summit where both of you need to engage in
        honest communication.
    -  Give her your best not your leftovers.

2.  Give her the freedom to explore her own gifts and abilities as it relates to the church.
    -   Protect her from unrealistic expectations and demands of her time and talents
    -   Let her know that being a mom and supportive wife is the best gift she can give to your ministry.

3.  Encourage her to find relationships with other pastor's wives where she can be transparent and
     feel safe in sharing her concerns.

4.  Try not to bring the church home with you.  This is a struggle for all of us, but we have to learn to shut
     it off once in a while.  Remember your identity is not in the church it is in Christ.

5.  Make sure you know exactly how she feels about being a pastor's wife.  Those feelings may change
     from one day to the next.  So give her the freedom to fully express her heart, and thank her for her
     support.