THE POWER OF INFLUENCE

I have recently been reading a book called "People Can't Drive You Crazy If You Don't Give Them The Keys".   There is a section where the author writes about the power of influence.

We all have relationships with people who we would like to see a change take place.  Many of us have heard the line, "You can't change the person but you can change yourself".   While it is true that the Holy Spirit is the one that has the power to change a person's life, we can be used by God to be an influencer.  What does influence mean?  The book has described influence in this way.  "Influence means living a healthy emotional life in close proximity to others.  It means that we intentionally put ourselves in  relationships where we can be life on life with them.  We don't have to have an agenda; we just have to care enough to connect."

Notice the key to being an influencer is developing our own healthy emotional life and secondly being in close proximity to others.  When we are emotionally healthy in the context of relationships our behavior is caught more than taught.  This means we don't have to have an agenda.  We just live our lives in close proximity and people will often adapt to our attitudes and behavior.

Just think how much we have changed in the context of marriage.  Over a period of years the influence of our mates have simply rubbed off on us.

So lets not get hung up on expecting the other person to change and fostering our agendas.  Let's just be emotionally healthy and not be afraid to connect.

DIVINE APPOINTMENTS

Philip the evangelist and deacon had no idea why God asked him to leave a successful ministry in Samaria and travel down a desert road.  Little did he know that God had pre-arranged an opportunity to potentially impact the entire nation of Ethiopia.  ( Acts 8)

As you know the Ethiopian CFO had come from Jerusalem searching for some answers.  He just happened to be stumped over a passage in Isaiah 53.  Philip jumps into his chariot and explains the Gospel to him.  The Eunuch understood and accepted Christ and was immediately baptized.

Some of us would call that some low hanging fruit just waiting to be picked.  Another way to look at it is God designed a divine appointment for Philip.

I believe God still designs divine appointments for all of us if we would be as alert to the voice of God as Philip.

Not only did Philip listen to God, he was willing to run up to the chariot and ask a simple question. Little did he know how open the Ethiopian Eunuch would be.  Not only did he plant the seed he consummated the deal by baptizing him.

I wonder how many opportunities God has prearranged for us that we have missed because we are too preoccupied with our lives?  Or perhaps too chicken to ask a simple question?

I believe there are still many people searching for answers in our culture.  We have it!

Let's all try running up to more chariots.  You never know what impact that one person might have for the His Kingdom.

Keep listening!

BLIND SPOTS

One of the vehicles that I drive has a blind spot that makes it difficult to change lanes.  I can look in the mirror on the passenger side but realize that the objects seen in the mirror appear to be further away then they actually are.   So it is critical before I move to my right that I deliberately look over my shoulder and put on my directional light.   Once I have done that it is safe for me to change lanes.

All of us have blind spots in our lives.  Because of that, we change lanes without realizing that there is impending danger.  Those blind spots may include anger, pride, jealousy, performance issues, and a myriad of others.  Unfortunately many of us just glance in the mirror and assume those dangers appear further away than we think.  The next thing we know we end up in a relational accident and can't understand why.

The sad part is that for those of us who have been driving the longest won't even look in the mirror.  We have done such a great job of rationalizing and compensating that we have become calloused to our blind spots.

Let me remind all of us that we should never stop learning about ourselves.  C. S. Lewis said, "The more we know ourselves the more we can know God."  We should all be life long learners no matter how old we are.  The Apostle Paul said that he hadn't arrived.  Neither have we.

Therefore it is imperative to be asking the right questions of those who know us best, and continually asking God search our hearts to see if there be any wicked way in us.

Until then, SAFE DRIVING! 

DESIRES 6 and 7 Chosen and Included

I have connected these two desires because I believe they have a direct relationship with each other.
We all desire to be chosen.  Reflecting back to my childhood I remember being chosen to be the captain of our safety patrol, or simply when the guys were choosing up teams for a game and I was one of the first to be chosen.  It was also tough however to see how difficult it was for the boys who were chosen last.

"We desire to be chosen by someone to be in a special relationship.  We feel special and accepted.  We feel desired. When we feel chosen and included we create messages about ourselves that are congruent with God's truth about who we are: we are beautiful, we are special, and we are beloved."

On the flip side of being chosen is the need to be included.  All of us need to experience some type of community.  I am reminded that God said, "It is not good for man to be alone."   He created Eve as a helpmate to compliment Adam's aloneness.

Certainly a sense of belonging should start in our family, but the church should be high on the list as well.  There are many seekers out there trying to find a place where they can be accepted and loved for who they are.   While it may be discouraging that 80% of people are not into organized church these days, we do need to be reminded that people are still seeking to be included and accepted.

All of us in the church should feel the enormous responsibility of encouraging people to be included and chosen.  When these two basic desires are met, I believe we will see the back door of our churches closing at a more rapid rate.

TOUCH (5th human desire)

Let me give a quote from the book "7 Basic Desires.  "Jesus demonstrated the healing power of touch.  Jesus reached out and touched a man with leprosy, and the man was healed of it.  Lepers were not to be touched because they were considered unclean. How many of you feel that you are somehow unclean? 


God is, in truth, willing to touch you.  Jesus is touched by a woman who has had a flow of blood for twelve years.  Simply touching the hem of Jesus' garment is enough to heal her. When we seek to touch God and he seeks to touch us, it can be wonderfully healing.  When we touch each other in healthy ways, and when a husband and wife touch each other in non-sexual ways, it can be a wonderful experience of God's healing love." 


There are many of us who were brought up without a lot of affection.  There are some who received the wrong kind of affection.  The bottom line is that God put a desire in all of us for sexual and non-sexual touches.

Let me close with one illustration.  A friend of mine who is a police chaplain was present at the tragic Columbine shootings in Colorado.  Words could not describe the heartache.  Only words could never be enough.  But over the many of hours to follow, there were several officers and firefighters who just came up and touched my friend on the arm.  That is all they needed.  It was like they were tangibly touching God in their moment of sorrow.  Wow!  The power of touch.

Have you touched someone recently with love of God?  When is the last time you hugged your spouse and kids?   Does someone need a healing touch from you?

TO BE SAFE ( 4th human desire)

All of us want to be free from fears and anxieties. We all want to know that we are materially secure--that we have food, and a place to live, and that we will enjoy reasonable good health.  We want to know that we are spiritually safe--that God will keep his promises and not do something that will ultimately harm us. We also need to know that people around us will love us and that we can count on them.  When we feel safe our confidence increases, there is a sense of freedom, and even maybe a desire to take some risks.

The reason that many of us don't feel entirely safe is because our past traumatic experiences can cause us to obsess and worry about what might happen in the future.

So how might a person act who has had a history of feeling unsafe?

- One might be caught up in a frenzy and worry about the littlest things.
- Some people become control freaks, overly protective, or micromanaging.
-  They might get mad at those who don't seem to worry as much as them.
-  Some may manifest it with health issues brought upon by stress.
-  A failure to take any kind of risk, or step out in faith.

The beauty of God creating a desire for us to be safe is that he wants us to rely on Him.
Psalm 55:2 says, "Cast your cares on the Lord and he will sustain you."

Jesus says in Matthew 6:27, "Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?"

Do you feel the safety of God's arms wrapped around you?

Do those who love and respect you feel safe around you?

The Third Desire: T0 BE BLESSED

So far we have discussed two basic desires.  The first was to be heard and understood and the second was to be affirmed.  While affirming someone encourages others for what they do, the third basic desire is: To Be Blessed.  To be blessed is to let somebody know that you love and appreciate them for just who they are.

When we don't receive affirmations, we can feel guilty about the things we do.  When we don't receive blessings, we can feel shameful about who we are.  Shame is a feeling that I am a mistake not that I just make mistakes.

Those of us that have never received a blessing from our parents or significant others in our lives can go on feeling like we will never measure up or have purpose.  Without blessing we may feel like we are not worthy of even identifying our basic desires, thus taking on a victim mentality, or constantly trying to prove ourselves.

When we feel blessed our self esteem will develop.  We will feel good about who we are and live more confidently in this truth.  God the Father blessed his Son when he was baptized.  He said, "This is my Son, whom I love, with him I am well pleased".  Let me remind us of the fact of God's unconditional love for us.  Thus God is saying to us as his sons and daughters.  "You are my kids whom I love, with whom I am well pleased".

God help us as parents and leaders to pass on those blessings to others.