How much of Evangelical Christianity is merely a religious fog? There seems to be a mist out there that is difficult for those who are trying to navigate through life. I wonder as Christians how much we have contributed to the spiritual dew point. Unfortunately we have often substituted Christian culture for real Christianity. Evangelical Christianity can be cloaked in its own language with religious talk and religious activity. Good intentioned believers who could never take their message into a hostile or secular arena.
So how does this religious fog happen? John Eldridge writes in his book "Beautiful Outlaw" about how the religious is operating. I will list those areas where we have a tendency to pull out the fog machine.
1. We live a clean life, attend church faithfully and are considered to be good Christians but fail to really fall in love with Jesus.
2. Knowing about God is substituted for knowing God. Many worship at the altar of knowledge assuming knowledge alone transforms hearts.
3. Active service is confused with commitment to Christ. If we are only busy doing for Christ we may miss knowing Christ.
4. The holiness of God is taught by making Him unknowable or untouchable. God becomes just a philosophical, intellectual, existential, and an aloof being, instead of a personal approachable and intimate God.
5. Holiness is substituted with rule-keeping. This is sort of a technical righteousness based on external expectations rather than internal convictions. We are so worried about what others think we fail to take a risk.
These kinds of behaviors can inoculate people against Jesus. Certainly Jesus broke the mold. Maybe we should?
Tuesday, April 17, 2012
Wednesday, April 4, 2012
Loneliness
There is no doubt that all of us periodically struggle with loneliness. It is a simple fact that comes with human existence. To be missed, or misunderstood. to be judged unfairly. To be wanted for what you can do, rather than who you are. To go on for years unappreciated, even unknown by those closest to you.
For those of us in any leadership capacity, we run the risk of being lonely with greater frequency. The saying that, "It's lonely at the top", is really true. I am reminded of the time when Jesus expressed his frustration with Philip in John 14. Philip said, Lord, show us the Father and that will be enough for us." Jesus answered: "Don"t you know me Philip, even after I have been among you such a long time?"
This is such a microcausm of what Jesus dealt with all the way to the cross. Even his 3 closest friends couldn't stay awake with him in Gethsemene. Imagine living your entire life in a world where the people closest to you don't get you.
What I have had to learn in my own life is this. When I am feeling the most misunderstood and lonely, I have learned to take advantage of those times to draw closer to the one who does really understand. Loneliness is a test of whether we really mean what we say when we call Jesus our best friend.
For those of us in any leadership capacity, we run the risk of being lonely with greater frequency. The saying that, "It's lonely at the top", is really true. I am reminded of the time when Jesus expressed his frustration with Philip in John 14. Philip said, Lord, show us the Father and that will be enough for us." Jesus answered: "Don"t you know me Philip, even after I have been among you such a long time?"
This is such a microcausm of what Jesus dealt with all the way to the cross. Even his 3 closest friends couldn't stay awake with him in Gethsemene. Imagine living your entire life in a world where the people closest to you don't get you.
What I have had to learn in my own life is this. When I am feeling the most misunderstood and lonely, I have learned to take advantage of those times to draw closer to the one who does really understand. Loneliness is a test of whether we really mean what we say when we call Jesus our best friend.
Sunday, March 25, 2012
"EQ"?
What does "EQ" stand for? Emotinal Quotient. After being in full time ministry for the past 40 years I have discovered that most conflict in the church is a result of a low emotional quotient. To put it in another way; emotional immaturity is usually at the core of every conflict. It never ceases to amaze me how so-called Spirit filled people can't resolve differences in a mature matter. Pride and insecurities of some sort are usually the culprits.
Pride refuses to listen and validate. It is unapproachable, and lacks vulnerability. It can't say I'm sorry. It has to be in control and must win at all cost. However pride can be a smoke screen for some insecurity. It has been said that some prideful people are egomaniacs with an inferiority complex. For whatever reason, it gets in the way of harmony in relationships.
On the other hand there are several causes of conflict that are precipitated by various fears. Fear of failure, fear of confrontation, fear of rejection, fear of abandonment, fear of exposure. The list could go on.
So what should be the basis of a healthy "EQ" ? The very core of a healthy "EQ" should be a healthy humility. But how do you know if you are on the right track to a healthy humility? Let me suggest several qualities that need to be present:
1. A healthy intropspection. We must not be afraid to ask God and others to search our hearts. Most low "EQ's" have blind spots that go undetected.
2. A healthy understanding of the unconditinal love of Jesus. This fosters an attitude of nothing to prove and nothing to lose. This can alleivate our insecurities.
3. A healthy perspective on empowerment. Truly humble people have no problem releasing control and seeing others succeed.
4. A healthy track record of personal transformation. If we are not becoming more Christlike day by day then we are not allowing God to change us.
Pride refuses to listen and validate. It is unapproachable, and lacks vulnerability. It can't say I'm sorry. It has to be in control and must win at all cost. However pride can be a smoke screen for some insecurity. It has been said that some prideful people are egomaniacs with an inferiority complex. For whatever reason, it gets in the way of harmony in relationships.
On the other hand there are several causes of conflict that are precipitated by various fears. Fear of failure, fear of confrontation, fear of rejection, fear of abandonment, fear of exposure. The list could go on.
So what should be the basis of a healthy "EQ" ? The very core of a healthy "EQ" should be a healthy humility. But how do you know if you are on the right track to a healthy humility? Let me suggest several qualities that need to be present:
1. A healthy intropspection. We must not be afraid to ask God and others to search our hearts. Most low "EQ's" have blind spots that go undetected.
2. A healthy understanding of the unconditinal love of Jesus. This fosters an attitude of nothing to prove and nothing to lose. This can alleivate our insecurities.
3. A healthy perspective on empowerment. Truly humble people have no problem releasing control and seeing others succeed.
4. A healthy track record of personal transformation. If we are not becoming more Christlike day by day then we are not allowing God to change us.
Thursday, March 1, 2012
Roadblocks to Intimacy
I have been reading a book called "Achieving High Performance Friendships" by John Vawter and Jim Wetherbe. It was written primarily for male friendships however, there was a portion of the book that spoke to me regarding the roadblocks to intimacy that I would like to share.
1. Belligerent and argumentative--Some men simply refuse to be corrected or even consider they might be able to improve on something they are doing. Often the response is being being belligerent and argumentative rather than considering what their friend has to say.
2. Always correct or subtle arrogance-- Some men always have to be right-regardless of the subject.
(the foremost authority syndrome). These people have really no interest in what others are thinking.
3. Passive aggressive-- Some men are deflective and refuse to talk about anything of significance. The are very skillful at avoiding any talk that would get close to their deepest emotion or allow anyone to get close to them.
4. Shop talk-- For some men, the extent of their conversation is professional or ministerial shop talk, primarily about their work or hobbies. They seem incapable of talking about love for their wives or kids, their fears for the future or what is on the inside. It is hard to be intimate with such people,
Being in leadership is lonely enough without these roadblocks to intimacy. I trust you are not guilty of these barriers, because God designed all of us to have intimate relationships.
1. Belligerent and argumentative--Some men simply refuse to be corrected or even consider they might be able to improve on something they are doing. Often the response is being being belligerent and argumentative rather than considering what their friend has to say.
2. Always correct or subtle arrogance-- Some men always have to be right-regardless of the subject.
(the foremost authority syndrome). These people have really no interest in what others are thinking.
3. Passive aggressive-- Some men are deflective and refuse to talk about anything of significance. The are very skillful at avoiding any talk that would get close to their deepest emotion or allow anyone to get close to them.
4. Shop talk-- For some men, the extent of their conversation is professional or ministerial shop talk, primarily about their work or hobbies. They seem incapable of talking about love for their wives or kids, their fears for the future or what is on the inside. It is hard to be intimate with such people,
Being in leadership is lonely enough without these roadblocks to intimacy. I trust you are not guilty of these barriers, because God designed all of us to have intimate relationships.
Thursday, February 16, 2012
CHARACTER REFLECTIONS part 3
So far I have shared 7 great principles of leadership that represent godly character. Let me finish this series with a final 3
A critical ingredient for a leader with character is the following: to be calm, loyal, prudent and discerning. Most followers do not have much confidence in a leader who is high strung, too excitable, and can't control their emotions. Nobody wants to have to walk on egg shells around a reactionary leader.
Imagine working for a leader who may turn on us with an unprovoked attack.
The next reflection of godly character is to hire well, communicate clearly, and trust the people they are over to achieve results. Leaders who cannot do this have a tendency to micromanage and send the message of distrust. When it comes to communicating the leader must paint a compelling vision and mission that captures the heart of the one they have hired. This also includes the defining of measurements of performance, and the tactics and strategies to achieve desired results.
Finally a leader with character will balance concern for the welfare of his employees with the need to achieve positive results. Every leader must be concerned about the desired results yet that also needs to be balanced with care for the people working for them. Results will often be high is the morale in the organization is high.
In conclusion we can see these characteristics a work in progress in all of us.
Let me again give credit to Gayle Beebe (President of Westmont College) who has brilliantly put these principles in print.
A critical ingredient for a leader with character is the following: to be calm, loyal, prudent and discerning. Most followers do not have much confidence in a leader who is high strung, too excitable, and can't control their emotions. Nobody wants to have to walk on egg shells around a reactionary leader.
Imagine working for a leader who may turn on us with an unprovoked attack.
The next reflection of godly character is to hire well, communicate clearly, and trust the people they are over to achieve results. Leaders who cannot do this have a tendency to micromanage and send the message of distrust. When it comes to communicating the leader must paint a compelling vision and mission that captures the heart of the one they have hired. This also includes the defining of measurements of performance, and the tactics and strategies to achieve desired results.
Finally a leader with character will balance concern for the welfare of his employees with the need to achieve positive results. Every leader must be concerned about the desired results yet that also needs to be balanced with care for the people working for them. Results will often be high is the morale in the organization is high.
In conclusion we can see these characteristics a work in progress in all of us.
Let me again give credit to Gayle Beebe (President of Westmont College) who has brilliantly put these principles in print.
Saturday, February 11, 2012
CHARACTER REFLECTIONS Part 2
I will share with you 4 more reflections that identify godly character in a leader.
The effective leader works with respect and understanding for each member of the team or organization. One of the greatest signs of godly character is a person who is willing to identify, develop, and celebrate the gifts of those who work for you. This requires confidence and acceptance in your own gifts and abilities. If you can't, your insecurities will shine through and frustrate those on your team.
Secondly, a leader with character works for the greater good of the organization. Instead of using the position to promote themselves, leaders with character are more concerned about the interests of the organization. The most satisfying work will be to promote something bigger than ourselves.
Thirdly, a leader who reflects character is temperate in all matters. A leader who demonstrates moderation in all things, including a lack of retaliation when attacked, over reacting, and rash responses.
Maintaining composure in all circumstances is critical to a leader's credibility.
(Just a side note regarding this issue) I was told early on in my ministry to pray every day for beauty and balance in my life. This advice speaks to this third reflection.
Finally the leader who reflects character must balance a confidence in their ability with humility in their approach. An effective leader should have low ego needs and find their greatest satisfaction in leading toward successful results. Being confident in your ability but humble in your approach requires that you learn to celebrate the gifts of those around you recognizing that things could change at any time.
The effective leader works with respect and understanding for each member of the team or organization. One of the greatest signs of godly character is a person who is willing to identify, develop, and celebrate the gifts of those who work for you. This requires confidence and acceptance in your own gifts and abilities. If you can't, your insecurities will shine through and frustrate those on your team.
Secondly, a leader with character works for the greater good of the organization. Instead of using the position to promote themselves, leaders with character are more concerned about the interests of the organization. The most satisfying work will be to promote something bigger than ourselves.
Thirdly, a leader who reflects character is temperate in all matters. A leader who demonstrates moderation in all things, including a lack of retaliation when attacked, over reacting, and rash responses.
Maintaining composure in all circumstances is critical to a leader's credibility.
(Just a side note regarding this issue) I was told early on in my ministry to pray every day for beauty and balance in my life. This advice speaks to this third reflection.
Finally the leader who reflects character must balance a confidence in their ability with humility in their approach. An effective leader should have low ego needs and find their greatest satisfaction in leading toward successful results. Being confident in your ability but humble in your approach requires that you learn to celebrate the gifts of those around you recognizing that things could change at any time.
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
CHARACTER REFLECTIONS
In a recent article written by Gayle D. Beebe, who is the president of Westmont College, there were some really great insights regarding the essential qualities that reflect our character. For the next several blogs I would like to amplify those.
The first is a leader who leads from a foundation of integrity. Essentially this means being true to our word and avoiding any kind of false appearances. Because a leader's life is always on display, people can be intrusive and critical. We can either embrace that fact or resent it. If we embrace it, we live a life above board and above reproach. If we resent it we can resort to our privacy and perhaps send the wrong messages.
The second characteristic of somebody who has great character is relational competency. Often times we get jobs and have responsibility because of our technical competence. Our technical abilities can take us so far, but if we can't foster emotionally mature relationships that are meaningful we can find ourselves isolated and misunderstood. The higher we go in any organization the more we have to work through people. That is why people skills are so essential.
The third characteristic of somebody with great character is the ability to absorb and undo the evil of others. Attacks and criticism are inevitable in any organization. It is critical for a leader to be able to sift through what is true and what isn't. A person with great character should be emotionally mature enough to discern the real issues at stake and try to remove the personal side of things.
Until next time. How do you stack up against these first 3?
The first is a leader who leads from a foundation of integrity. Essentially this means being true to our word and avoiding any kind of false appearances. Because a leader's life is always on display, people can be intrusive and critical. We can either embrace that fact or resent it. If we embrace it, we live a life above board and above reproach. If we resent it we can resort to our privacy and perhaps send the wrong messages.
The second characteristic of somebody who has great character is relational competency. Often times we get jobs and have responsibility because of our technical competence. Our technical abilities can take us so far, but if we can't foster emotionally mature relationships that are meaningful we can find ourselves isolated and misunderstood. The higher we go in any organization the more we have to work through people. That is why people skills are so essential.
The third characteristic of somebody with great character is the ability to absorb and undo the evil of others. Attacks and criticism are inevitable in any organization. It is critical for a leader to be able to sift through what is true and what isn't. A person with great character should be emotionally mature enough to discern the real issues at stake and try to remove the personal side of things.
Until next time. How do you stack up against these first 3?
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